My foot

Boy, I just did a number on my right foot.
like losing my balance, knocking a glass off the bathroom sink, and landing on it.
I spilled an awful amount of blood,
and it's still there,
because I'm not able to stand yet.
I suppose it's been there for an hour and a half, maybe less. I've fallen asleep once or twice on the floor.
I'm exhausted.
I'm not sure why I've been pushing myself so hard,
but I'm finally ready to accept immobility,
because I'm not sure if I've got a choice.
On a lighter note, this was my first experience with a large amount of my own blood
,
and I've passed with flying colors.

I'm scared!

I'm scared.
I'm deciding to go travelling,
and leave this little life I've built for myself behind.
I'm afraid of messing up royally,
but feel it's a decision I've got to make.
I'm not sure why I'm making myself do this,
but I'm selling nearly everything I own, putting on a backpack, breaking my lease,
and taking it to the road.
I'm going to go from Austin to El Paso, that's my first "plan", but it's likely to change.
I'm thinking of just thumbing rides, and this is alternately exciting and frightening.
I'm going to end up in San Francisco, after passing through Arizona and New Mexico,
and then I'm going to make my way up to Seattle, where I'm looking at an acupuncture school.
Then, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
It might all be a horrible mistake,
but I'm willing to take that chance.
Austin just isn't feeling quite right.
I'm not sure,
maybe it's me,
and that's what I intend to find out.
Aaron

The Legacy of Aaron Fast

So, after google searching my name (it's been a while!), I found a couple of other Aaron Fast's out there, and I would like to invite them to a battle to the death for Supreme Aaron Fast Supremacy (yes, I realize that this is redundant).
One Aaron Fast is a Kentucky U student, and I wrote him an email saying "Hey, you stole my name!" plus some other stuff, and I'll let you all know if he writes you back (and by you all I mean...no one...bloggin to the trees, baby). Another Aaron Fast is a registered sex offender. I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me!
I don't know, there were some others.
My friend Gabe Dominguez (sorry gabe, i had to use that picture!) aka shake your peace ...wait, what the hell was I going to say about gabe?
I'm not sure.
I've been away from this tab for too long.
um...my friend gabe, aka shake your peace...um...is a nice guy.
As for my other friend, Greg "Cosmo D" Heffernan, I'm always watching what he's up to, and it's always full of surprises. Lately, he's been to my almost-home-town, Washington, D.C., and has made friends with pianist Vijay Iyer, and I'm excited about his future.
As for me,
I'm turning into a groupie,
rather than a musician,
and I'm unable to complete anything.
I guess that's why I'm supposed to go to acupuncture school!

Aun Aprendo (I Am Still Learning!)

This is an image that Francisco De Goya (1746-1828) drew (in black chalk) at the age of 80. Written above the old man walking with two canes is the phrase "Aun Aprendo", which means "I am Still Learning".
I love that, and am trying to make it a part of my life,
but i'm not sure if learning means going to school,
or saying fuck it,
and seeing what happens.

well,

i've just finished reading a nice book called "life is so good", an assisted autobiography (the last one of those I read was the miles davis autobiography ) of George Dawson, a 101-year-old black man from Texas who learned to read at the age of 98. (The book is copyright 1999, and I learned that George Dawson lived to be 103, passing in 2K1). The early part of his story obviously revolves around being a young black man in the segregated south, and it's a fascinating firsthand account, both more and less terrible than you'd imagine (a seemingly very happy family homelife contrasted with seeing one of his older friends get lyched when still a child). After that, there's a lot about him leaving home, first to work for a white family, then just to wander via passenger and freight trains (he gets around this country as well as Canada and Mexico).
Rock and Socks, George.
Anyway,
here's what's going on:
I'M TRYING TO GET ABLETON LIVE TO WORK AND MAKE MIXTAPES FOR YOU PEOPLE! and by you people i mean, my cat.
and i don't have a cat.
so for me.
but I'm interested in making nonsense mixtapes, and it's an interesting process, involving things like tremendous latency and things i've never considered like ASIO.
It's also going to cost an awful lot more money than i expected to get set up. rats!

OK, cool things I've looked at recently:
Nikki S. Lee, a born-in-korea, now in the u.s. photographer/artist/thinger who "After observing particular subcultures and ethnic groups...adopts their general style and attitude through dress, gesture, and posture, and then approaches the group in her new guise." She hangs out with hip hop heads , schoolgirls , punk rockers , old ladies , and more, then gets passerbys, or members of the group to snap a group photo of her with her friends (I'd put friends in quotes, but that would seem cynical). I've seen her work in museums, and it's fascinating. Here is a link with some of that work, along with some of her other work, including a cool series of photos called "part", which are essentially intimate moments between two people, with one of them just cut out of the frame.
She's obviously got some fixation on identity, and I read a site talking about how the eastern view of identity considers the person as less solid, and views them more as a functional component in a group of people, i.e. you are who you hang out with and how you function within that group?, something like it.

Also, one of my just-about-favorite artists, (who I've already turned my man Cosmo onto, and he's going to be the only one reading this, so it might be redundant), William Schaff .
I first got turned onto William Schaff because he did the artwork for lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven (see header to this entry), the penultimate album by a band that will always have a special place in my heart, godspeed you black emperor.
ANYWAY, go to William Schaff's flickr site (he used to have his own, but so it goes), and check out evrything there, but I have to admint I have a particular affinity for the mail art (scroll down in the column on the right to find it).

From that site, somehow, I got linked to THIS site, one artist's attempt to subvert money, and turn us all onto Noney, in which all monetary notes are handmade and worth their "aesthetic value" in a person-to-person system of barter. Get it?

In a less highbrow artistic aside, I enjoyed Weird Al's new video for "White and Nerdy" off of his MySpace page (who knew he'd have one!).

I was linked there courtesy of my favorite website of all time, WFMU's BEWARE OF THE BLOG , which I usually read right after my email.

Ok.
I'm done.

Oh rats. I just manually typed in all of those links for this whole post, before seeing the link tool at the top. Shucks! At least I learned what a=href means.

Well, it's been five months...

and the rest of my blog looks like a different world.
I'm going to start documenting my life again, my advenures in money, music, and you know, god and stuff.
Today, we start with the heavy stuff (jesus!).
Seriously, jesus.
Now, those of you who know me, might know that I'm jewish.
But forget about it.
Because my dad's christian.
or protestant.
Or something.
or was.
but then he turned against religion, so he's mostly kept his mouth shut about it, and done his best to mutter sabbath prayers when my mother lights candles.

But I digress.

today, I've exhausted. After meeting a lovely girl at The Buffalo Exchange yesterday (the hippest clothing shop on neptune), I was excited because maybe we were going to eat breakfast together this morning.

well, I've pretty much ruined that, because I called her FOUR (count em, 1-2-3-4) times last night in the course of an hour.
BUT, I had an EXCUSE!, you see!
I called Once, left a message,
then called again,
and left a P.S.
to that message.
It was charming, really.
THEN, I went into the bathroom, and did my best to shave, as I always do, with a ConAir head shaver, which is way too big and insensitive to be shaving with, not to mention mine is mostly broken.
So I'm shaving with this thing, and I come out of the bathroom, and I've gotten a message in the meantime from this girl (who's not a girl I'm trying to have sex with, really, but just an interesting and potential buddy. she's really great, and into vegan cooking, and ayurvedic medicine, and all of this stuff i'm interested in, and don't have anyone to talk to about).
SO, I call her back, and get no answer.
And i'm like DAMN!
THEN, i decide I'm going to meditate and/or go to sleep, and I should call this girl, because we'd been talking about doing breakfast the next day, and I'm like "Oh, you don't need to call her, you'll talk to her tomorrow" and then the other part of my brain is all like "DUDE, don't be such a puss, this isn't middle school, give her a call".
So I force myself to call her back, feeling really awkward and clingy and creepy (this WAS supposed to be platonic, right?), and get her answering machine again, and then am like "oh well, fuck it", so I hang up, leave the house today without talking to her, and don't bring my cell phone with me. Sorry, Sarah!
BUT, she's got this dance performance she's doing tonight, so I'm going to try to catch that (it's free, and close, and African dance is another thing we're both very interested in, and I'm not lying when I tell you I can dance you face off if you're not some highly trained african dancer).

SO, back to jesus.

So what happens is, I'm leaving my house, and I'm exhausted, and I'm like "I've gotta go get my chauffer's license so I can get a job as a pedicabber (a bike taxi)", and I'm biking for 15 minutes or whatever, and just like falling over exhausted, having a very hard time keeping my spirits up, because I don't, in fact, have any interest in being a pedicab driver (terrible hours, physical stress on the body, just don't feel like it).
But I'm doing it anyway, because I've got to make MONEY!, right? MONEY!, and I'm not even allowing myself to acknowledge the fact that I've got $6,000 in my mutual fund, and that this is the time to use it, but I'm too embarassed to tell my parents that, and i've got one job already.

so I walk into this place.

And i'm like, damn, this woman's not even looking at me.

And it turns out, she's the sweetest woman, and i have a nice time in her presence, even though i'm unprepared for my little pedicab license, because i've got to go spend ANOTHER $35 to get records from Virginia, where I used to live, in addition to the $35 I spend to get my records in Texas, where i'm living now.

BUT, I'm exhausted, and she's seeing how fucking worn out i am, and ends up talking to me about jesus (in a really nice sort of way), and giving me five bucks.

I was charmed.

i read some quotes on her wall, before we had the jesus talk, that had already lifted my spirits, and when she told me "jesus is real", i know she meant it, and I know it was true for her.

Here's why: Well, there's no explaining it really, nevermind.

But, i read this one nice quote on her wall that said "don't worry about anything, pray for everything" or something like that (it was from some gospel).

So i said, i'm so fucking worried about money. Fuck you, God, I'm going to stop worrying, i'm done worrying, please take care of it, god, take care of it, i'm entrusting you with my money as i've entrusted you with any number of other things.
And then the lady walked out and said "are you going to be ok" and offered me five bucks, which obviously I wasn't enthused to take until she really wanted to give it to me, and i was honest about my empty wallet and my empty stomach and how exhausted and hungry i was.
So i went and felt like a millionaire with my $5.25 (i found a quarter in a vending machine!), and got the best lunch i've ever eaten, at some greek deli.

Amen.

I am fine, thanks for asking!

Austin is in love with me, and i'm in love with austin.
dig it?
(daniel johnston painted the above mural sometime in the 90's. it's about 12 blocks from where I live!)

New Poetry Tuesday!

This is by Antler, a poet from Milwaukee. It comes from a collection called Poems for the Nation: A Collection of Contemporary Political Poems, edited by Allen Ginsberg.

follow orders

Drag the rainbow into the interrogation room. Use thumbscrews on clouds if necessary. Arrest the wind for being shiftless. Take a lake to headquarters for loitering. Sentence aspens to 30 years hard labor for having leaves that quiver. Turn rainforests into deserts. Put deserts behind bars because poets see a world in a grain of sand. Accuse sanddunes of being drifters. Accuse snowdrifts of being drifters. Tell the birds to shut up and listen to your song. Cross-examine snowflakes till they break into tears. Accuse a leech of being a leech. Accuse a sponge of being a sponge. Accuse a yawn of being a yawn. Search milkweed-pods as suspicious characters. Hog-tie will-o-the-wisps, take them into custody. Tar-and-feather every inch of living soil that refuses to be covered with asphalt. Put Lake Michigan on the witness stand to testify against Lake Superior. Arraign the rain, indict the kite and prosecute the bandicoot. Charge lightning and thunder for practicing without a license. Charge the view from the skyscraper with making people look like ants. Warn autumn colors to stop rioting. Throw the rich odor of thawing earth in a dungeon. Frisk the shimmer of light on moonlit water. Search crotches of virgin timber for concealing drugs Straitjacket elephants for jacking off with their nose Make a bear paw the Bible to take oath. Ban the banana because it reminds you of something. Flog alpenglow with a rubber hose under a hundred-watt lightbulb. Slaughterhouse moonbeams. Summon the lemon, subpoena the peanut, impeach the peach, arraignthe terrain. Order the space between the stars and the space between molecules to change place. Order turtles to get license plates. Order sunflowers to pay their electric bills or the sun be disconnected. Order rats to join the rat race. Order orifice and artifice to be reversed. Order ripples of water, ripples of light, ripples of heat, ripples of shade to do your bidding. Order poems to close down and move to Mexico where they can get words to work for one-fifth what they're paid here. Millepedes must obey or be drawn-and-thousanded. Decapitate ecstatic tomfoolery. Give the finger to the wind for being fresh with you. Gesticulate before the bristlecone pine how you made more money than anyone. Brag to the Pleiades you played the stock market better than anyone. Tell your Death you're going to hold your breath till it grants your wish. Sentence leaf-shadows to the electric chair for seducing millions of youths. Torture the Ocean till it talks, and none of this surf-sound mumbo-jumbo. Reduce to toothpicks the oldest biggest trees Tame wildflowers and coat them with plastic and mount them on wire stems. Buy the water, buy the earth, buy the sky. Sell the water, sell the earth, sell the sky. Beat up the night 'cause it's black. Spit at the sun 'cause it's yellow. Massacre the dawn it's red. Chart how many ants you can kill. Ambush waterfalls with machetes, mutilate them beyond recognition. Assassinate the last condor in your spare time. Assign hit-men to rub out hummingbirds while paring your nails. Assign hit-men to rub out dolphins while paring your nails. Step into your mile-long limousine snort a thousand dollars and tell the chauffeur "Next Universe, please"

From Know For Sure (same author, found here)

All we know for sure is

all places that exist

were once one place.

All we know for certain is

all the beings that exist

or will exist

or have existed

we re originally all together

in an infinitesimal dot.

Support modern poetry, eh?

NEW MUSIC WEDNESDAY?

do you know Peelander-Z? Please, do yourself a favor and check out this video.

So about that Denton...

I'm living in a good place, and I'm happy. It's 90% of where I want to be, and 100% of where I need to be to get there.
I'm pleased to start playing and learning the rather advanced breed of music they've got down here, which most of my friends are involved in, and some understand extraordinarily well.
Speaking of which, thanks to all those new friends, who have been so accepting and warm. I felt at home the first day I met all of you (which is more than I can say for New York).
As for the weather, I underestimated the cold!, but luckily I've got roommates who let me use their spare jackets (and gloves, when I'm riding).
Speaking of riding, I've met some cool kids who are involved in bikes.
The first picture above is a picture of my friend Jared (Jarot?) jousting on a tall bike (think two bicycle frames stacked atop one another. Actually, don't think. PLEASE, check out this incredbile clip of the black label bike club [nyc/brookLYN!]).
I'm going over to Jared/rot's house to toy around in his garage sometime, and hopefully accomplish two things:
1. Build a custom bike from his humungous assortment of pieces,
2. Convince him to build some more art bikes, and include them in an upcoming art exhibition I'm hoping to stage.

I'm interested in Japan.

hacha!

Well, I'm going to update this, even though I'm not sure I'm feeling like it.
I've just quit my job, after exactly 8 hours of work. It was the front desk at La Quinta Inn, and I'm not sure if I could have stood another day (literally I suppose, since you're not allowed to sit down, even though it's the front desk). It was a nasty run in with bullshit corporate jobs that try to pretend they're prestigious and really suck.
It's propelled me to work on my solo set, and get some gigs, and I'm going to do that soon. My ultimate goal is to be supporting myself in a month, and also to join my friend Gabe Dominguez (Shake Your Peace) on a rock and roll bicycle tour this summer.

Here's a potential set list for right now, with more to come later:

I am a moon person (in progress, for guitar and voice!)

St. James Infirmary (for guitar and voice and feet of the drumset)

You Can See (a stripped down version of the Deerhoof song of the same name!)

Oh Lord, It's a Beautiful Day! (in which select audience members make animal noises)

You can Do it if you want to Do it, but Do you want to Do it? (improv guitar and voice)

Critics' Song ("I will tell you everything I don't know...by trying to tell you everything I do [in just 2 paragraphs!] I will write a letter to your parents...and tell them they were wrong for loving you.")

All of Me/My Brazilian Romance (a story for voice, trumpet, lonely boy, beautiful girl)

I'm not sure if there's anything else, but there's a big list in my room.
oh yeah, if my friend Bach shows up (yes, it's his real name, Bach Wilder Norwood, nonetheless!) I'm hopefully going to learn "Mommas don't let you babies grow up to be cowboys" with him. There will be some back porch country guitar, some senseless guitar thrashing/noise, some screaming to hit the hi notes, and a good time all around.
Are you down?
If you have any amazing ideas of songs I can play (I like to cover songs, it's a good way for me to practice my singing!), let me know. chumps.

Well...

Say hello to my new baby, an Alvarez AF60CK (if that doesn't mean anything to you, just look at the link). I've just bought it brand new, for $299, and it looks an awful lot better than the picture. it's been a long time coming.
Denton, Texas is amazing, and I'm making more friends than I've had in years. Already there's at least three or four serious projects in the works (a free jazz group, an afro-cuban percussion and trombone choir, my silly rock/punk/dance/etc project, and some less concrete things, not to mention my ever evolving solo project). There's everything you'd ever need, from artsy coffee shops (where I'm scheming to get some stuff up in the near future), to the 10 for $10 sales at the local Kroger (biscuits!), and it's all within easy biking distance.
I'm not ready to fill you in on all the rest yet, because i'm in the UNT library at a "research only" computer.
Rock and socks,
aaron

thanks again to michael tencer for the image...

I'm going to Denton, TX for a good while (I'm guessing 2-6 months, with some side trips mixed in).
good luck!

My friend michael tencer emails me pictures like these.
They make me uncomfortable and not know what to say.

cleaning off my digital 3

My Guatemalan Heart, or I Found a Bucket of Paint Today (Guess Which Color it Was?)
as shown in the Aaron's Bedroom gallery,
to exactly one visitor (Thanks Rolando!)

cleaning off my digital 2

when i lived near the Myrtle-Willoughby G train in Brooklyn, I really liked this graffiti mural not only because it featured an instrument I'm enamored with (congas, though I'm really growing to appreciate turntables as well), but also because it was an incredible statement of continuity between old school cuba and avirex brooklyn.
It was incredibly dark, so I've had to invert the colors...sorry

speaking of HIP ART LINKS!, there you go. (And don't forget about wooster collective!)

cleaning off my digital

I call it "The Sound of Julie Andrews" (blech!)

A Tricky Quiz!

This picture offers irrefutable evidence that aaron fast is either
a) stoned b) Chinese c) both d) neither

click here for the answer

GuardRobo=Biiiizness!

(courtesy of my brother, Jesse, from somewhere)